Putting the sparkle back into date night

Finding the balance when you have kids and are in a relationship can be a bit like running through a land mine while trying to look sexy in lacy negligee that itches like crazy and gives you a giant wedgie.

The catchup on what is going on with the kids, what needs to be done and parenting decisions can take dominate place in conversations . I lost count for a while there on how many times hubby and  I were out on date night with a set agenda of not talking about the kids and the rule only lasted 5 minutes , before we knew it we had paid the bill and it was time to go home.

Getting all dressed up and making the effort after a long day . Then  coming home feeling like a kid opening a Christmas present , only to discover they got socks  can make you wonder why you even went out in the first place .

Changing it up 

Making a list together of new activities and places you would like to go to can pull you out of your comfort zone and make it worth giving up an evening of Netflix and PJs . No matter how tempting that episode of your favourite series looks.


Are you missing the conversations about yourselves , your dreams and conversations that aren’t always about the kids?
Sure there are many things to discuss and decisions to make about your kids and time can be set aside to make them but keeping the spark alive and making sure the person you choose to share your life with with feels valued should also take top priority. Putting the phone away and making this time just about the two of you is a good start.

Here is a list of conversation starters to guide your date night away from defaulting to kids and work talk.

Date Night conversation starters:

  • What is your favourite memory of us?
  • If you could go anywhere on vacation where would you go?
  • What would you do with $10 000 ?
  • If you could have one superpower what would it be?
  • What was your favourite TV show as a kid?
  • Describe your perfect day.
  • What song makes you think about me?
  • What is your most embarrassing memory?
  • Tell me three things you love about me?
  • When was the last time you laughed so much your stomach and jaw hurt?

Initially it might take practice to get the conversation rolling but the effort will see you relaxing and laughing together in no time.

Jules x



  1. I’ve just celebrated my one year wedding anniversary and our daughter is 6 months. I hope to have a long and happy marriage with my partner. I always ask him little questions like the ones you’ve mentioned. You can never stop learning more about a person. We’ve grown together through careless 18 year olds to parents in our mid twenties… I can’t wait to see what the future holds ☺

  2. We are definitely in a date night routine but I can’t say I mind! We always go to gold class and see a movie then talk about it over coffee in the way home. My mum comes over for the night once a month to let us go.

  3. “Making sure the person you choose to spend your life with feels valued should take top priority…” this is so true but can be so challenging when you are chasing after little kids who have immediate needs. Often immediate wins over important. I constantly need to remind myself to make dating a priority.

  4. These are some good tips and suggestions! I agree with putting the phones away. (Of course, I pick it up to check the time or in case I have a message from the babysitters but that’s it.) I really need to set some more time for date nights with hubs!

    • It really is hard to catch that time with just the two of you as a couple with kids but so worth it.

Comments are closed.