The anger imploded from her lips as she blurted out the words that would stay on repeat in her mind and heart for many years to come ” I will never forgive her for what she did to me”.
I didn’t know it then, but it was the beginning of a journey that would be life changing and not in a good way.
Have you ever been on the recieving end of a personal attack on your reputation? or a wrong doing that was just so heart wrenching; you thought you would never be able to repair your soul, let alone face that person again?
I have and it really has made me feel like there was no return. Nor would I ever trust that person again. EVER.
Forgiveness isn’t for the person who wronged you, it doesn’t mean that you are even saying that you are ok with the person’s actions; it’s about finding peace for you and letting go.
We have all seen the toxic mess that surrounds the lives of the person who holds a grudge; the wonderful person who once stared back in the reflection in the mirror with hope and love became non existent for my wonderful friend.
Unconsciously carrying a grudge went on to affect her future relationships; the wrong doing was all consuming. It broke my heart to hear the whispers of many who despised what she had become. Conversations of running away and starting a new life because it would fix everything became a daily ritual.
Eventually, I was thankful when it came to crisis point. When loved ones shared their thoughts. Had the wrongdoer even thought about the incidence or lost one night’s sleep ? What was she wanting? Retrebution, an apology or a time machine ?
The reality was: none of these things were going to happen. It was time to forgive. Why?
It was time to let go , move on and find peace.
There is always the big thought that forgiveness is the best thing you can do for others, but the reality is forgiveness is for YOU.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you need to confront the wrongdoer; although there have been times for myself and there will be circumstances, where it is part of the healing process.
The moment my friend acknowledged that what happened was crap, but there was no way of going back in time to change, it was the first step towards peace and moving on.
For me it has helped to make a list of what I have learnt from the incident and burn that peace of paper. Then if any feelings of why tried to slip into my mind I would fight them off with a list of things that were wonderful about my life.
After all; a life well lived is the best gift to give yourself and to give your story a heroic ending .